Flowers

Dear Mum,


You remember my undying love for flowers right? Doesn't exactly mean I know a lot about them, I just love receiving them :)

March 2013 has been one hell of a month. Birthday after birthday after birthday and it's not over yet! March babies are the best! And this year I received so much love, and flowers!

Last Wednesday Loan and Kha took me out to dinner and got me a bunch of purple vanda orchids! They were so pretty! Its a pity I didn't take a photo of it.

On Sunday I did the Run for the Kids. It was so refreshing and inspiring to see all the runners running for a good cause. After that and brunch at Hardware Societe Duyen and I went to the Flower and garden show. Omg it was AMAZING! Florists who design bouquets and all the displays are literally artists! I'm glad I went. Came home with 3 bunches of roses. Couldn't resist!

This Monday I got a surprise from Diana and her mum Camillia with a beautiful bunch of flowers and a present! I loved it! Really took me by surprise :)

And then the next day I received three Easter gifts from my clients! A box of Rafellos from Antoinette, a vase of chocolates from Jane and a wonderful small bunch of vanda orchids from Aranka. I'm so blessed! More flowers!

Gia is getting sick of all the flowers I bring home. But I do share it with mum too :)

I arranged Loan's flowers with a few roses I bought :)

Diana's flowers for me :)

Truly blessed with all the love I've received this year. Thank you all! Mum will be happy :)

Love you always,

Your daughter Anna ♥ 

Cremation

Dear mum,

It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep because I have a lot on my mind. And I just turned off some kdrama I was watching too lol. But what are my thoughts right now?

Gonna go off topic first. How does it feel to understand somebody when you have barely any interaction with them? Well simple. You won't ever understand them, no matter how long you gaze at them on the sideline. It's like risks and relationships. They are somewhat intertwined. If you don't take initiative, someone might get in first and you lose the chance. It's better knowing and get shot down then being in the clouds and wonder what could have happened.

But what about death? I spoke to a client this morning about sudden deaths. We all blame ourselves. The ones that are living. What could I have done to prevent the death from happening. It was my fault it lead to this. No. When it is someone's time to go, nothing can get in the way. We can only accept the truth and adjust to it. My whole family blamed ourselves for my mothers death. We coulda did this, shoulda did that, shouldnt have gone there... But it's useless. What's gone will never come back.

Someone I know, DISSED the way funerals are conducted these days. That the tears and anguish people express at the funeral are all for show and has no meaning. If I had the guts that time I would tell her this. Say you lost your daughter. Or your son. Or your partner. Lets just say your mother who gave you life. If they left you behind in this world how would you fucking feel. And to say that tears are for a show. I'm sorry, my mother is no longer with me. How can I suppress my feelings when at the funeral everyone around you gives you all their love and sympathy to everyone in the room especially to the one lying dead in the coffin. The flowers, candles, rituals, are signs of respect and anguish and condolences that comes from people's kind hearts. I respect what you have to say, but please don't think that what we did was for show. We did not invite one single priest to conduct mass. We did not invite one single person to attend the funeral. Due to their love and care for my mother they attended to bid my mother farewell. It's because your life is perfect right now that you are blinded by happiness to see what it is like to lose someone.

And many people wondered why mum got cremated. If you didn't go to the chapel to see what happened you wouldn't know the proceedings that came with cremation. After someone dies, their body will rot no matter what. And it is the living people, US, that suffer, not the one lying down. So imagine, for our sake, that you see your mum dragged down into the ground then having spades of dirt piled on top. All you see in the chapel is the coffin being lowered down into this chamber. No matter what, their body will never remain. So it is the choice of the individual and/or family whether someone should be buried or cremated, especially for the living's sake. Therefore don't say nasty things in front of me or behind my back from our family's decision.

No one can understand the pain my family and I are going through. Do not judge. I don't like two faced people who thinks they are in high status that they know everything and can condemn those who are weak and vulnerable. They disgust me.

Okay nearly 3:30am I should sleep now. Everything's off my chest! Happy birthday to me!!

Love you always,


Your daughter Anna ❤

Exhausted happiness

Dear Mum,

I believe that to lead a happy life, it's best to keep busy and do things that we enjoy or love. The effort put into it will be rewarding in the end.

I remember on Thursday. I believe I got extremely depressed by the end of the night. Work was not busy at all, and I felt like I was suffocating and dizzy from doing nothing at all. I skipped off work early and went to visit the new section of Highpoint. And even walking around there I did not dare buy anything because I said to myself- I have not made much today, how could I be spending (though I'm not poor)?

But on Friday I was chocker blocks. By 6pm I ran out of energy and could barely paint Sanela's nails shellac! My hands were quivering from no food the entire day but just coffee (extremely BAD idea!). But after the day ended at 9.30pm I realised how happy I was. That's the feeling a boss has with their business.

But it's not just business. In the past few Saturdays I usually am so tired from working all week that I tend to stay at home after work and sleep early due to exhaustion. But not this weekend. I went out with my friends and had a great time!

My girls and I had a good time Fine Dining at Punch Lane. It was too fine dining for our liking. There were no cocktail list, just wine and their food portions left some of us crave wicked wings from KFC. The food was tasty though. My duck tasted so good!

Then we ducked off to Little Red Pocket, in which we took 40 mins just to get there and find parking, where it's only a few streets down. Had a good time drinking with Duyen the birthday girl who was already off her face when we got there lol. The place is petite and comfy, with good music and cheap shots ;) The girls and I tried to get as many shots in before heading to the clubs (mum don't kill me I know you hate me going clubbing).

Overall I had a good time dancing and mucking around with my girls. It's a Saturday I won't forget or regret sacrificing my sleep over. Once in a while just hanging out with people I love is worth it. It's what living is for. Sometimes you're tired to do things. But if you put the effort into making things happen that you know will give you a good result, get up and do it. It's the best feeling. But just don't overdo it and faint.

Got a few things to do this week! Gotta get all my documents to do a police check for the ATO. Got accepted to volunteer within the ATO woo hoo! It's something I've wanted to do since years back. And on Sunday I'll be running for the kids! Actually I won't be running. I'm in the white zone and in that zone it's for walkers shhhh. I can't even run over 3km non stop let alone 5.5km.

I will be buying you flowers tomorrow! On days like tomorrow I usually make breakfast for you to show my appreciation. Don't worry the flowers are definitely for you, it's not because I like flowers that I'm buying myself a bunch ;) Glad there's a florist in the shopping centre I work- I won't need to travel far. I don't feel much older. I feel the same, just gonna be a day older ;)


Love you always,


Your daughter Anna ♥ 

Holiday-ing

Dear Mum,


I came across this site while I was looking for quick holiday ecapes and I have DEFINITELY fallen in love with this place.

http://www.nightfall.com.au/

Instead of living in a luxury hotel, its actually luxury tents, which has nearly everything that a hotel has, except doors. Only 6 people can stay at these tents at a time and everything they serve (food wise) is organic, and everything is eco friendly. The funny thing is, they haven't finished building yet, it won't open till May 2013.

I'm definitely adding this to my bucket list. The atmosphere of Lamington National Park sounds absolutely amazing. Waterfalls, bushwalking, rocky waters, just sounds so refreshing. This is a place I should go during the rainy season, where there will be lots of water. Though it will be cold, but it'll be so crisp and cooling, it'll be so good!

So now, I have two things in my bucket list- To bungee jump off Macau Tower (tallest tower in the world) and to camp out at the Nightfall Wilderness Camp, camp of luxury ;)


Love you always,


Your daughter Anna ♥